The CVA's

Welcome to the first ever Christian-Version Awards! Because apparently it's totally awesome to imitate what's actually popular in the real world in order to make a buck, I figure it's about time to start doling out awards for those who have either mastered the art or gotten lucky once. Because as Matt at The Church Of No People said: "We don’t try to come up with original thoughts that much.  We’re happy to wait until someone else comes up with an original thought, and then copy it in the name of Jesus."

And now, without further ado, the awards!

Best Imitation Acronym (BIA)

Now, if there's anything Christians like, it's Three-Letter Acronyms (Or TLA's, as I like to call them). Need more people in your NBF? Start a GIG! Four-Letter Acronyms (FLA's), though slightly rarer, are also up there, with the good ol' fashioned WWJD.

But nothing quite compares to stealing a popular secular acronym and putting a Christian spin on it. Want to start an organization that fights to educate people about intelligent design? Call it the Christian Intelligence Agency! Also, make sure to steal the real CIA's logo and put a little twist on it, like a burning bush or something.

Along those lines, I'll give a CVA out to a FLA that is, IMO the BIA.

And the winner is....

International House Of Prayer (IHOP)!!!
Not only is IHOP (the pancake one) suing the IHOP (prayer) for copyright infringement, but it also added to its acronym street-cred by having an entire page on its site devoted to translating commonly-used acronyms they use! Way to go, IHOP!

Best Ke$ha Impersonation
Considering Ke$ha's lyrics, why would Christians ever want to sound like her? Because she's popular, and it's not the sound of the music that matters, but what she says that hurts our virgin little ears oh so very much. Because of that, we NEED to have an alternative so those of us who really want to listen to catchy music like "Tik Tok" can get our fix without being in danger if the rapture were to occur during our little a-listen.

Well good news! We not only have a winner, but Air1 is even giving away a free mp3 of the winner's song along with the description "Sounds like a Christian version of "Tik Tok"!!!!

And without further ado, the winner is...

Melody Joy - Savior

Good job Melody! You successfully broke away from the Latin circuit, into the American CCM circuit like a Christian version of Shakira by making a Christian version of Tik Tok!

Best Mash-Up Potential
Mash-ups are big right now. The first instance I can think of was back in 2004 when MTV released the Jay-Z and Linkin Park crossover album "Collision Course". Basically all you do is find two songs with the same chord progression and verse structure and have your way with it. Most recently, Katy Perry and Ke$ha hired the same exact people to write the same exact song in "California Gurls" and "Tik Tok".

Well this is great news for Christian artists. This gave us the opportunity to not just imitate genres, but outright plagiarize the musical art of pop music, while just slapping on some airy Christiany/positive lyrics on the song. 

Behold, the winner:
Natalie Grant - Human


This perfect storm of imitation is so great it brings a tear to my eye. For those of you who are a bit out of sync with popular music, "Human" has perfect mash-up potential with "Battlefield" by American Idol winner Jordin Sparks. Not only that, but Jordin Sparks actually wrote "Human" for Natalie Grant! They are the exact same song but with alternate lyrics, like how Guns 'n Roses wrote alternate lyrics for "Don't Cry". The "Christian Lyrics" version of the song has a single reference to being "made in His image" and that's about all that's keeping this song off the top-40 charts. To top it off, Jordin Sparks performed the song in the above video with Natalie Grant at the 41st annual Dove Awards. It's as if Jordin Sparks just wanted to remind us all (or maybe herself) that she's still a Christian.

Well, that's it for this installment of the CVA's! Hope to see you next time.