Acting responsible

People give me way more credit than I deserve. Notice that I didn't preclude that sentence with "I think that..." but stated it. Because it's a fact. A very "I'm not trying to be humble, I just don't want you to hang yourself relying on me" fact.

This thought recently passed through my mind as one of my bosses gave my current job/project description to a new team I'm interfacing with at work. It was during this quite lengthy and embellishing description that I realized the following:

1. I'm in charge of an entire project-critical subsystem
2. I'm the only one who is working alone on a subsystem
3. I'm the youngest software engineer at the company
4. I never got a promotion for this kind of responsibility!

Okay, so #4 was a little greedy of me, but everything else is true. No wonder I haven't updated this blog in a while. I've been too busy freaking out about my work responsibilities to bask in the imaginary world of exaggeration and humor called the Blogosphere.

I'm still trying to determine the reasoning behind putting me of the 20 or so other more highly experienced software developers on my project. I'm assuming nobody has been paying attention to my work ethic.

Me at work.¹

I'm not even exaggerating all that much. My only assumption right now is that people have noticed my (lack of) work ethic and proceeded to give me more responsibility because the reason I wasn't working was because I had too little to do, or I wasn't challenged enough. So, expect far fewer blog updates because my work day is no longer as unsaturated as it used to be, and I have less time to think about stuff other than work (meaning it's hard to come up with topics).

This sort of issue pervades into other areas of my life as well. Like how parents of the high schoolers at church trust me to be a good example for their kids. Parents, please understand that although I deeply care for your kids and long to see them become better people, sometimes it's impossible for me to not make that dirty joke, or point out that innuendo.

I'm fine with accepting responsibility and trying to play the role. Just know that it's a fruitless attempt at being someone who is not me. And I'm pretty good actor, liar, and face-putter-onner, so it might take you a good long while to catch on.

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1. Got this on Google image search. Who's John?